A FEW UPDATES

I'm down 12 lbs. i should be down more than that in 7 weeks, but i have an explanation. it's a long story so i'll give you the shortened version. i was having some negative birth control reaction issues. i took it the wrong way, i blew up like a bloated blimp, delayed my time of the month, and screwed up my cycle and i'm pretty sure some other workings of my body....yadda, yadda, yadda. TMI. aaaaand the end. anyway- i'm back on track again. and my body's back to normal. so i'm sure i'll have better news a month from now when i'm strolling down the avenue in my two piece just because i can. haha. sike. i could lose 50 lbs and STILL be too big to do that. but still...a girl can dream, can't she?

MAJOR 12 lb MILESTONES:
1. my engagement ring fits again
2. my ass doesn't shake as much as it used to
3. i can button and zip my work pants all while breathing comfortably. i couldn't do that since before i was pregnant.

so, bravo for me.

RIDICULOUSNESS

just thought i'd post a picture of Bubs. This was taken a couple weeks ago after he turned 6 months. it's insane how much i love this kid. just thinking about him brings me joy...i'm obssessed.

Customary New Years Resolution Alert!

So I gained weight during my pregnancy. 24 lbs to be exact. Not too bad. After I had the baby, I lost it all within the first 12 weeks....all thanks to breastfeeding. Let me tell ya- it ain't easy, but it sure does help with the weight loss! I stopped breastfeeding when I went back to work, started snacking more (because I wasn't stuck on the couch feeding the baby every two hours), and the weight started sneaking back up. I weighed myself 3 weeks ago and I was only 9 lbs lighter than I was when I was 9 months pregnant!! WHAAAAAAAT?!?! I had gained back 15 pounds. Don't get me wrong. I know why....cause I had a baby and ordering pizza or chinese is so much easier than working an 8 hour day, and taking care of a baby all while calculating calories and making a healthly dinner. Needless to say, I haven't been working out either. Unless, you count walking to the fridge for ice cream as exercise. God, I wish. Coincidentally, this spontaneous weigh-in took place the beginning of January. This explains the resolution. I hopped back on the Weight Watchers wagon. I actually joined Weight Watchers Online this time instead of trying to do it on my own cause they had this special going on and I work at a computer all day, so I'd have constant access to the program, the food journal, articles, points values for everything under the sun, etc. Well, I am happy to report I am down 7 pounds. This Friday will be my 3 week weigh-in. And I'm not hating it at all. I'm hoping this time is different than the other times. I'm sick of being fat and I'm not in a hurry this time. This time I'm not doing it for a wedding, or for a class reunion, or the upcoming summer. It's just because I'm tired of being a chub monster. I feel like shit and I'm sick of feeling like shit. The biggest reason I want to lose weight though is because I refuse to get pregnant again until I'm back to square one. Ideally, I'd like to be below my pre-pregnancy weight for my next pregnancy since I was obese when I started the last one. So that's the plan, Stan. I'll keep you posted every once in a while.

say cheese!!!!

Bubs's first tooth poked through his gum yesterday!!! Woo-hooooo!!! I kind of figured that he was teething cause he has been trying to stick everything in his mouth, and he's also been slobbering more than usual. The thing that made me second guess that he was teething were all the horror stories of teething babies. They wake up every two hours in the middle of the night, the scream and cry, and are inconsolable. They run fevers and are cranky. I don't know....either this kid has no pain sensory in his nervous system, or he is SERIOUSLY the most awesome baby in the world. I'm pretty sure it's the latter. He really is the most pleasant child on earth...and he's ALL MINE!!!!!! Even when he's cranky- he's smiling. I swear. I can't wait til those two little chicklets come in. There is nothing like a big, fat, chunky baby giving you a smile with those two bottom teeth sticking out!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I am in love with this kid.

Sally Hansen Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips

AWESOME PRODUCT ALERT! Who needs a professional manicurist when you got these bad boys?? They come in all kinds of styles- herringbone, checkered print, zebra, stripes and solids, etc...and they last about a week without peeling or chipping so I'd say they are well worth the money! the only "con" is there are only 16 strips, so you only get one full set out of the box. however, if you buy 2 boxes- you'd have 3 sets of 10 strips with 2 leftover, so I guess it all works out in the end. Especially if you plan on using them often. personal favorite- LEOPARD PRINT!!!

conrad's birth story

so, the plan was to go au naturale', but sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to....not even a little smidgen of a bit the way you want them to. The first thing that threw a wrench into my plan was that the baby's stomach was measuring small for his gestantional age. so, for the last 8 weeks of my pregnancy, I had to go get non-stress tests twice a week to monitor the baby's movements...which by the way were off-the-charts-awesome. they were telling me that he was "borderline 10th percentile." being at or above the 10th percentile would be a completely healthy, but small baby and being under the 10th percentile would be a sickly, at-risk baby. so, to err on the side of caution- they assumed my bubs was "growth restricted." this just means that they though he wasn't getting the nourishment he needed and if that was the case it was dangerous to leave him in there after 40 weeks because after 40 weeks the placenta (the thing that nourishes the baby) starts breaking down and as it breaks down the baby would be getting even less nourishment/blood/oxygen in the womb causing him to lose even more weight or worse- there is a chance that some truly growth restricted babies could be still born, so it's better to get them out as soon as possible- according to doctors- because they think it's easier to take care of a sick baby on the outside. Some people may say that I have too much faith in God and too little in the medical profession, but I just think that women have been having babies for millions of years and a woman's body knows what to do to take care of the thing growing inside of it. preganancy and childbirth are natural processes and it just seems to me that 90% of the these medical interventions are unneccessary or the actual CAUSE of most of the problems we see happening today. But I digress...so, I was just sure that my baby was ok and that he would be born when he was ready. unfortunately, it became quite apparent that the only way i was going to make my OWN informed decision was to listen to doctors and midwives guilt trip me into oblivion leading up to my due date. i fought through the condescending tones and hypothetical horror stories for about a week, but by the 41 week mark- I hate to say it- I surrendered. I gave in. I figured it was a nice compromise though...just in case. And I'm glad I stuck to my guns and stood up to the bullying for at least a little while. They scheduled to induce me on thursday night (august 11th). i wasn't even dialated so they would have to artificially dialte me using some kind of pill that they manually insert once every 4 hours for the first 12 hours. Well, after 12 hours i was dialated like 1/2 a cenimeter and running on NO sleep. I barely slept Wednesday night into Thursday because I was worried about being induced Thursday night, and I didn't sleep Thursday night because we got to the hospital around 8pm and I was moved around and poked and prodded until about 3am Friday morning when they started me on the pill. After that, I might have dozed off once or twice for like 10 minutes, but that was it. I had a few contractions here and there, but nothing spectacular. By 4pm (I'm guessing...because at this point it was pretty much all a blur) on Friday afternoon they said the pill wasn't working and that they want to try a foley catheter (which is a long tube with a balloon on the end of it that goes up into your uterus and is filled with water in order that forcibly diated your cervix. I agreed and they stuck the thing in and not 3 seconds after they were finished I had some major and non-stop cramping. It was excrutiating to tell you the truth. Especially since they had started me on the pitocin as well, so not only was I cramping but I was also contracting periodically as well. When I asked the girl if the cramping was normal, she told me yes and that usually women opt for the epidural before getting the catheter because it hurts. Great. Probably could've mentioned that before you performed the procedure on me, dollface. So, here I am crying through the very UNnatural pain and holding my mom's hand wondering how I got myself into this mess. Thank God for my mom!! I don't know what I would've done without her cause Rory wasn't sure what to do. She kept me calm and reminded me to relax and breathe. About an hour went by and I caved in and decided to get the epidural. After the epidural, I thought I'd have a chance to rest, but only a short time after that (maybe around 6pm)- the midwife came back into the room to let me know that the pitocin was cauing the baby's heartbeat to drop. She said this isn't unusual further along in the labor process, but since the baby was already showing signs of distress and I was only about 1cm dialated and on the lowest dose of pitocin, the midwife was concerned the baby would not be able to handle higher doses. I had now been up for almost 48 straight hours, almost 24 hours with no food, limited water, and a host of interventions and let me tell ya- i felt defeated. the midwife said they could stop the pitocin to stabalize me and the baby and wait and see what would happen if they gave me a higher dose later on, but there was a very good chance i'd end up needing a c-section anyway. It didn't look good. I felt like I couldn't take anymore bad news. I was soooooooooooooooo tired. Like, tired to the point of delerium. Not even an hour later, she returned and said the best thing for me and the baby was a c-section. I didn't even want to fight anymore. I just wanted it to be over! I waited about another hour or so and then they wheeled me in the operating room and by 8:30pm on August 12th, I heard the little itty-bitty cry I've been waiting to hear for 10 1/2 months!!!! Just a little peep...and then he stopped and hasn't really cried too much since- by the way- because he is my little angel baby. My bubs was born healthy and happy, and that negated all the crap I had to go through to get to that very point. Conrad had finally arrived!

i'm back, baby!

aye carumba. i'm terrible at keeping up with this thing. needless to say, i had my baby!!! it's a boy. he was born @ 8:30pm on august 12th and weighed in at 6 lbs 14 ounces...21 1/4 inches long. his name is conrad patrick jones and he is THE love of my life. sorry, ror. but this is like mother/child love and it trumps any other kind. he'll be 4 months old on the december 12th. time is flying. sooooo, here's a little recap for the record:
the first 6 weeks were brutal. i'm not gonna sugar coat it. i'm talkin' bruuuuuuuuuuuuutal. i questioned my decision to have a kid quite a few times. the first week you think there's nothing to it cause you're in this newborn baby love haze...just running on pure adrenaline. you don't mind waking up every two hours because you're just riding this natural high and you're so happy to hold this little person in your arms every chance you get. then the second week hits and reality sets in. you gotta do this for the next few months (which in your mind seems like an eternity)...EVERY single feeding...every two hours for 3 months straight...non-stop...until he starts sleeping through the night. it may have been different if I pumped or was bottle feeding cause then me and rory could've taken turns at least and I could've gotten more than an hour sleep at a time- sometimes 2 when I was lucky! But it's starts getting pretty overwhelming right about the point your husband goes back to work...I know. Perfect timing. Your barely eating because you spending all your time milking this thing like a big fat cow, your body is like "let me sleep already!!!!," your nipples feel like they're gonna fall off cause he's not latching on right, or your milk duct is clogged, you've never been so overtired in your life so you cry all the time, you don't want company cause you're miserable and everytime anyone comes over they're like, "how do you feel?? isn't motherhood awesome??" and you lie and say, "yes!" when really you want to scream, "no!!! this sucks so bad!! it hate it!!!!!!!!!" and you feel completely selfish because you LOVE this kid to death, but you find yourself thinking to yourself, "what have i done? i can't handle this. i'm a terrible mom." and then one day around 6 or 7 weeks, the fog suddenly lifts and you finally get the knack of breastfeeding, your body adjusts to less sleep and you realize that yes!!! yes, you CAN do it!!!! and you do love being a mom. 8 weeks gets even better. And by 12 you're a pro and you and your bubs got a little routine going on and then BAM!!! maternity leave is over. then it's your first day back to work.you cry dropping the baby off at the babysitter, cry on your way to the office, cry at your desk, cry in your car at lunch, and cry during your afternoon break. then 5 o'clock hits and your rush home like your house is on fire just to see him a few seconds earlier than if you didn't run that red light or roll through all the stop signs. they give you 3 months to spend 24 hours a day 7 days a week with this kid and then they pull the rug out from under you and make you quit him cold turkey. but then it gets better. now, i can't imagine my life without him and i want to spend every waking minute of the day with him. i can't WAIT for all the milestones- rolling over, crawling, walking, talking...the family vacations and all the holidays. so many memories to be made! it's seriously awesome being a mom. so demanding, exhausting, and challenging...but worth every stressful minute.

And this, my friend, is why...look at that freakin' face.