Yep. The big "P." Two days short of 11 weeks to be exact. In other news, I've been sick as a dog since December 17th, which may explain why I've been MIA for a while and posting a bunch of nothing. I promise when I feel better- the reviews will be plentiful and my attitude will be anything but miserable. For now, miserable is all you're gonna get. In closing, I'd like to leave you with a list. You're gonna need to know these things now, people. These pregnant ladies are very tight-lipped about pregnancy...always walking around looking cute as a button, making things seem so lighthearted and joyful...with their stoic smiles and tummy rubbing- never letting on or revealing the true reality of having your body hijacked for 10 months.
TOP 5 THINGS PREGNANT WOMEN DON'T TELL YOU:
#1.) Morning sickness is TORTURE!!!! Morning sickness can make a woman question her decision to get pregnant every single minute of every single day- as long as that's how often she feels like sticking her head in the toilet. The only reason you don't know how terrible it is is because we hide out in our house like hermits for a month and half and you only see us maybe once or twice in that time frame at a family event and we pretend we're not on the verge of hysterically crying....which we are. Am I "excited??" I'm sure I will be.....eventually.
#2.) Soooo, I've never had a shoulder or back pimple in my life. You know where this is going...
#3.) You don't think you'd lose sleep immediately after glancing down at that stick on the back of the toilet, but it's almost instantaneous. Besides the fear of actually birthing the kid, affording diapers, formula, catholic grade school, and college tuition that will eventually keep you up at night- there is the dreaded midnight, 3am, and 6am bathroom breaks. I wouldn't mind so much if i could get up, pee, and fall back asleep...but as you'll soon realize (especially in the first trimester) it always comes back to the dreaded morning/all day and night sickness. The ONLY time I don't feel sick is when I'm sleeping, so it's safe to assume after i wake up to pee and go back to bed- I have to go through the whole process of moaning and groaning because my stomach is doing somersaults and churning on it's own acid until the sweet twighlight takes me back into it's comforting arms...at least for 3 more hours.
#4.) I hate to say it...cause it's gross. But it's gotta be said. Stock up on the pantyliners, girls. It's gonna be an interesting ride.
#5.) If it has a scent- there's a 90% chance it's gonna make you sick. Car exhaust, the deli counter at the supermarket, perfume, soap, something cooking, breath, ketchup, laudry detergent, the Christmas tree, candles, freakin' air...you name it. ESPECIALLY the cigarette smell. It's the worst smell in the world when you're pregnant. I don't care what anyone says- it's THE WORST smell. Ihave a gag reflex just thinking about it, which makes the fact that my husband smokes even more ironic and sad. So very sad...
Don't get me wrong. I love my baby! And I AM excited. It's just that feeling sick for 37 days straight weighs on a person and you wonder if you will ever feel good enough again to truly enjoy to wonders of pregnancy. Right now, I'm thinking it's not possible. But I'll get back to you when the random daily retching subsides. This is Mama Jones signing off...
Later alligators!
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